Monday, November 7, 2011
‘You should have used your considerable influence to get us tickets for the MTV Music Awards!’
‘Tickets. For Lady Gaga.’
‘Tickets? What do you mean tickets?’
‘I mean tickets. Tickets. To see Lady Gaga. I missed seeing her because you didn’t make the effort.’
‘You wanted to see Lady Gaga?’
‘Yup. I like Lady Gaga. But you left it too late for tickets.’
‘What do you mean? I left it too late? You never bought a ticket for anything in your life’.
‘I won’t even ignore that. I always pay my way. But it was in Belfast. I’m stuck in Dublin with you most of the time so it’s not my fault that I cudn’t get a ticket.’
‘You left it a bit late. It’s Monday. The gig was last night.’
‘I asked you a month ago. Don’t you remember? We were in the City Hall. No problem! That’s what you told me. No problem. That’s what you said. My friend the Mayor will sort us out. Gan Fabh. That’s your exact words’.
‘When was that?’
‘The day we bumped into Tom Hartley in the City Hall and he was showing off his tickets for The Odessy. As you know Tom is a big Justin Bieber fan. He was delighted with himself. Do you remember now?’
‘Aye? That’s all you can say? Aye?’
‘Aye! And I did ask. Our Mayor. That’s who I asked. That very day. I offered to carry his chain. I said I thought he was the very best Mayor who ever came out of the Short Strand....’
‘Okay. An Tra Gearr. And he - our Mayor – he said I was to leave it with him’.
‘Well you certainly did that.’
‘Stop huffing. If you have an issue get in touch with the Mayor.’
‘I didn’t ask the Mayor. You’re the big shot around here. I asked you. You let me down. Again!’
‘You cudda gone down to see Snow Patrol. That was free’.
‘I wanted to see Lady Gaga.’
‘I’ll get you a CD’.
‘Biggest music event in the history of Belfast and I missed it. All because I relied on you. Lady Gaga live. And I wasn’t there’.
‘Probably the only Belfast republican to miss out!’
‘You don’t need to be so sarsastic’.
‘Ach you shud stop going on. And on. And on.’
‘And you shudn’t make promises you don’t keep.’