‘I really love good black and white pudding.’
‘Clonakilty is your only man’
‘Clonakilty is Michael Collins homeplace’.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yup. And Clonakilty black and white pudding is the best in the world.’
‘What do you think of Collins?’
‘He shudda had more sense. He shud never let the Brits divide and conquer’.
‘Dev had a lot to do with that’.
‘There is a place in Fermanagh sells black bacon. O Dohertys. Its in Eniskillen. It is traditionally cured. None of the stuff that comes out like when you fry other bacon.’
‘Aye I ate that black bacon. It comes from pigs who roam wild on the islands on Lough Erne’.
‘It’s hard to get’.
‘But it’s worth it. Clonakilty black and white pudding, O Doherty’s black bacon and duck eggs fried with home made potato farls and soda bread.’
‘I’m a vegetarian.’
‘But you eat eggs. And fish’.
‘So what? At least I don’t eat dead animals’
‘Fish is animal.’
‘Michael Collins shudda came home and called Llyod George’s bluff.’
‘Maybe it wasn’t as simple as that.’
‘How can you call yourself a vegetarian if you eat fish? Aren’t vegetarians not supposed to abstain from meat of all kinds?’
‘It depends on what kind of vegetarian you are’.
‘Well that’s obvious’.
‘There is another black pudding they make in Kerry. It comes in little squares. Its very good as well’.
‘Nothing is as good as Clonakilty. Its the barley in it.
‘Who do you think killed Collins?’
‘I know that. But do you believe the conspiracy stories’.
‘Nope. I think it was straightforward. A local unit heard he was in their area and they ambushed him. It was as simple as that’.
‘It wasn’t a simple as that’.
‘Were you always a vegetarian?’
‘Nope I just decided to give up meat one day. I felt sorry for the animals.’
‘Except the fishes’.
‘Why are you so agitated by that? I don’t tell you what to eat.’
‘I know you don’t but did you ever eat Clonakilty black pudding before you converted partially to vegetarianism?’
‘Can’t say I did. At least I can’t remember. And I never converted partially to anything’
‘Ah you wud remember if you ate this black pudding. You won’t ever know what you missed. Now you’ll die wondering.’
‘I’m more worried about my crocs’.
‘Aye. Did you never find them?’
‘That’s bad luck.’
‘I cud kick myself. I was on the Beggarman’s Strand and I always like to walk in my bare feet. So I put my crocs to one side the way I always do. It was kinda windy. And as I walked off I had this wee doubt about whether it was safe leaving them there. They are so light. And the wind was so strong. It niggled a wee bit at me’.
‘Do you reckon Collins had any wee niggles about .......?’
‘When I got back they were gone. Thirty euros down the drain!’
‘Was there anyone about?’
‘Nobody that wud steal a pair of crocs’.
‘What size were they?’
‘What does that matter?’
‘Wud you two give over. This grub is ready. Eggs for the continuity vegetarian and a full fry for the rest of us’.
‘Failte romhaibh. Enjoy.’