‘So what are you going to do for the New Year?
‘Yes you. Who else is here?’
‘Why are you asking that. Nobody else is here. You know that. That’s typical of you. Who else is here? Why do you jump in like that before I have even a chance to answer? ’
‘You don’t need to be so cranky. I asked you a simple question. You as usual didn’t give a straight answer. Me you said! That’s why I asked you who else is here. Because you asked me’.
‘I didn’t ask you anything. You are the one asking all the questions.’
‘I don’t mean you asked me’.
‘Well that’s what you said.’
‘I know rightly what I said. Listen to what I mean. You answered my question by saying ‘me’. That’s why I asked you who else is here’.
‘ What is it you want to know anyway?’
‘What are you going to do for the New Year?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean are you making any New Year resolutions?’
‘I haven’t given it much thought. And another thing ....I’m not being cranky.’
‘Oh yes you are. Very cranky indeed.’
‘Why do you want to know what I’m doing for the New Year?’
‘Why do you always answer a question with a question?’
‘Why don’t you ever answer a question?’
‘I’m sorry I asked in the first place. I was just making conversation. It is the New Year after all and most people make resolutions so I was just asking what you are going to do. But of course you are an ignoramus so you don’t appreciate conversation or communication between people. You just want to be a latchico, an oul fuddy duddy.’
‘You’re one to talk! An ignoramus? Me? Better than being a bloody dictator. That’s what you are. A bloody dictator. You won’t let anyone be. We don’t all have to be talking machines you know. The least said, the soonest mended. You and your stupid questions. That’s what I’m going to do for the New Year’.
‘I don’t care what you’re going to do’.
‘What? You don’t care. You don’t care!! That’s a good one. Well why then did you start this silly stupid row? Especially just before the New Year!’
‘Are you saying I started this row?’ Is that what you’re saying?’
‘There you go again. Same old story. Answering a question with a question.’
‘And that whether you like to hear it or not is what I’m giving up. Answering your silly questions. That’s what!’
‘Well it’s good to know you are going to do something. That’ll make a change from your usual oul malarkey. A happy New year to you’.
‘You bloody too. Bliain úr faoi mhaise duit. 2011 here we come’
‘Ha bloody ha’.